


What Really Matters

by itsasparkleparty



Category: Free!
Genre: Homophobia, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-06
Updated: 2015-03-11
Packaged: 2018-02-12 02:13:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2091924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsasparkleparty/pseuds/itsasparkleparty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rei, Haru, and Makoto are all extremely worried about Nagisa. He missed school, swim practice, and hasn't picked up the phone or texted any of them back. The three worried friends go to pay Nagisa a visit, but when certain facts are brought up to the surface, how will Nagisa's parents, friends, and more importantly, Rei, react?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction on Free! and I hope you all enjoy! I'll be working hard to update and edit chapters as fast as I can. Yeah, I kinda hate notes at the beginning, too. Do people even read these? Anyway, enjoy reading!

**Chapter One**

 

Rei Ryugazaki fidgeted in his desk, desperately trying to pay attention to the droning voice that was his history teacher. There was only 15 minutes left until school was over for the day and Rei was in a hurry to find Makoto and Haru. Today is the second day in a row Nagisa has missed school--and therefore swim practice.

Despite telling himself that he was just itching to get out of his seat after a long day, a part of him wanted the day to end as soon as it could so he could visit Nagisa. His friend was not only physically absent, but he has neglected all of his calls and texts for the past 48 hours. That, and Rei felt strangely uncomfortable without his closest friend constantly bothering him during class. So the boys thought that a visit would help explain.

_Finally_ , Rei thought as the final bell rang. He quickly filled his backpack with the books he needed and shuffled past the crowded desks and students and hurried out the door to find Haru and Makoto waiting outside his classroom.

“Great, you guys are ready. Do any of you know where he lives? I’ve never actually been to his house.”

Makoto’s mouth dropped, “We were hoping you would know. You do live closest you know...”

“You’ve known him since elementary school, I thought _you_ would know after all these years!” Rei shot back.

Makoto threw up his hands in defense and laughed, “Alright, alright sorry Rei. Well how are we supposed to visit him if we don’t know where he lives? Do you have any idea where he lives, Haru?”

“No, but I have a school directory with a list of all the students and where they live.”

Makoto’s eyebrows shot up, “I didn’t know they had those. Do you have to special order them?”

Before Haru could reply, Rei interrupted, “This is hardly the time! We need to hurry over there as soon as we can before it gets too late!”

Makoto laughed nervously again and replied, “Hey Rei, I’m sure Nagisa is fine. No need to worry so much okay?”

“He hasn’t answered any of my calls or texts!” Rei retorted, face going red, “He always responds. He could be too sick to even pick up his phone and we are standing here talking about ordering school directories!”

“Rei,” Haru muttered, looking at Rei.

Rei looked away and blushed again, “I’m sorry guys. I’m just really worried,”

Makoto put a reassuring hand on Rei’s shoulder, “How about this. Haru go home and grab that student directory and meet us at the train station. Rei, you and I can go to the market and grab a gift for Nagisa.”

Haru nodded and headed out the school building.

“Has Nagisa ever been out like this before?” Rei questioned Makoto as they walked out, following Haru.

“He’s been sick like everyone else, but he’s always been able to call or text.”

Rei looked away, and hoped that his friend was alright.

***

“Are--are you sure this is the right place?” Rei asked in surprise, looking from the address book and the numbers on the house to double check.

“Positive. At least, the house address matches the information we have,” Makoto muttered.

The three boys were standing outside a large brass gate that opened up to a three story, white mansion. They inched forward, trying to take everything in. Lights could be seen from inside, and surrounding the house were thick, long rose bushes that extended past the house and into what appeared to be a garden. Standing straight in front of them was a large, stone fountain that sprayed water up a few meters before crashing down into a small pool. Makoto had to look sideways to make sure Haru wasn’t undressing.

“I never knew he lived in a house like this,” Makoto whispered softly, “If he has this kind of money, why isn’t he going to a more prestigious school?”

“I feel like we shouldn’t be here,” Rei murmured as they made their way up the marble steps, “Should I ring the doorbell?”

Makoto nodded, and Rei swallowed and turned to push the tiny white button. A loud, franky obnoxious bell rang through the house multiple times, and was audible through the large mahogany front door.

It wasn’t long until a short, middle-aged maid answered the door, “Hello? How can I help you?”

“Uh,” Rei stuttered, “Uh... we’re here to see Nagisa Hazuki… if he uh… lives here?”

“We are Nagisa’s friends,” Makoto took over smoothly, “I am Makoto Tachibana, this is Rei Ryugazaki, and this is Haruka Nanase. Nagisa wasn’t at school and we were worried.”

The nurses eyes widened, “You’re here for Master Hazuki? I wasn’t aware he had such close friends. Please, come in and wait for me to get permission for you to see the young master,”

The maid opened the door wider for the three awkward boys to stumble in through the door. They all practically gasped at the sight of the room they stepped in. A few paces in front of them was a grand staircase made of the same marble as the steps that led into the house, but this one was garnished with a carpet that flew up the stairs and continued on the second floor. The walls were painted a bright yellow that rose more than 6 meters to a pure white ceiling that bore a sparkling, crystal chandelier.

“I’ll be right back,” the maid bowed politely and left the three stunned boys alone in the massive open foyer.

“Makoto,” Rei said still looking everything he could see from this room, unable to keep his curious eyes off of anything, “Did you have… any idea?”

“Not even a little,” Makoto said again in a tiny whisper.

“‘Young master’?” Haru said with furrowed eyebrows.

Rei noticed Haru looking around the house, but he stayed exactly on the spot when he entered the house with the rest of them.

“This… this is crazy,” Rei said softly, “How did we not know this?”

“I guess it really isn’t that important,” Haru remarked.

Makoto and Rei turned to him, and after a moment Makoto laughed lightly and agreed, “Yes, I guess you’re right. Still. This comes as quite a shock.”

A loud bang was heard from the room across the foyer. Incomprehensible yelling followed shortly after, along with another bang. The three boys looked at each other in concern.

“You don’t think that has anything to do with us do you?” Makoto asked worriedly.

“It probably does,” Haru answered. Makoto whimpered slightly.

The previous maid stumbled out, looking quite shaken and slightly scared. She managed to pull herself together by the time she spoke again to the boys, “I’m sorry. But you boys must leave. Mr. and Mrs. Hazuki ask that you do not return to this house again. Please, let me show you out,”

The maid stumbled past the very confused boys to open the large wooden door.

“Wait, wait a second,” Rei started angrily, “What did we do? We just want to see our friend and see if he is okay!”

The maid looked upset at this, but nonetheless replied, “I’m very sorry but you cannot visit Master Nagi--”

“Just tell us if he is okay. Please,” Rei begged the maid, taking a step closer to her, “We’ll leave and we won’t cause any more trouble, but can you please tell us if he is okay?”

The maid sighed, took a step back and said, “Oh, alright. Master Nagisa is doing fine, but--”

“EMILY!” Bellowed a loud, deep, male voice from the room the maid had stumbled from. The maid, Emily, cringed. She stood up straight, and in a sterner voice said, “Please leave this property before we are forced to call the police.”

Rei was outraged. _How dare they just force them out without an explanation!_ Rei was about to open his mouth to angrily retort, but Makoto stepped in before Rei could get in another word.

“We are very sorry, we didn’t mean to cause any trouble. Please tell Nagisa we came to visit and that we hope he is doing okay. And please,” Makoto placed a small basket of cakes and cookies in the maid’s arms, “Give this to him?”

The maid looked stunned for a moment, but replied, “I’ll see,”

And with that Makoto grabbed Rei by the arm and practically dragged him out of the house. The front door was slammed promptly behind them.

***

“This is completely and _utterly_ unfair!” Rei shouted to no one in particular right outside Nagisa’s front door, “What the hell was that about anyway?”

“Rei, none of us know, okay?” Makoto replied in a tired and slightly aggravated voice, hand running through his hair, “God we’re just as confused.”

Rei followed behind his two friends down the steps and off the property. After he calmed down he mumbled, “Well that maid said he was okay, right?”

“That could mean anything,” Haru stated, “She was cut off before she was going to continue what she was saying. She said, ‘he is fine, but--’.”

Rei groaned, “Well, what do we do now?”

“There really isn’t anything more we can do,” Makoto exhaled, “It probably isn’t a good idea to go back. We can only hope that the maid was able to give Nagisa our gift.”

Rei sighed and walked up in pace with his friends, “I guess I’d better get going. It’s going to get dark soon and I don’t want my parents worried.”

“Same with me. I need to get home and do some homework. Rei, you can get home from here right?”

Rei nodded, “And you guys can get back to the train station?”

“Yeah we’ll be fine. I’ll see you tomorrow Rei.”

“See you guys,” Rei waved as he turned a corner.

Rei walked on as the sun began to set and felt the anger boil up inside of him. He was absolutely livid. He hated not knowing exactly how Nagisa was doing. He hated that he was going to be thinking about this obsessively until Nagisa returned. And he hated how much his friend was making him worry.

The young man sighed and stuffed his hands in his pockets as he made his way home. Why didn’t Nagisa tell him? Why wasn’t he answering his texts? Why didn’t his incompetent maid, or whoever was in charge, let Nagisa’s closest friends visit him?

All this was doing was pissing Rei off more, and he had to shake his head a few times as if that would stop the thoughts of Nagisa’s health, and the confusion of his thoughts, from racing in his head. All Rei could do was hope for the best, maybe even take notes for Nagisa in their classes.

***

“Oh, Nagisa,” came the teacher’s voice from the front of the room, “It’s nice to finally have you back. Out sick?”

Rei’s head shot up from his notebook. His mouth dropped when he saw his friend standing at the front of the room next to his teacher, handing him a note.

Nagisa gave him a weak laugh and replied, “Yeah. It was a really bad case of the flu. I think I got it from my sister when she visited from college. I’m better now, or at least not contagious,” Nagisa laughed again, causing Rei’s heart to strangely ache.

“Well, you better get caught up, Nagisa. You’re behind at least a week. I’m sure a friend can lend you some notes,”

Even from towards the back of the room Rei could see his friend’s face fall, “Yes, sir,” he replied and shuffled over to his seat. It took Rei a moment to remember that Nagisa’s seat was right behind him.

“Nagisa, how--?” Rei started, but was cut off. Nagisa walked right passed him, and sat a few seats behind Rei. Rei blinked a few times at Nagisa, who was unpacking his bag and setting everything up for the day. Nagisa didn’t spare Rei a glance. He blinked again.

What?

Rei was about to stand up and confront Nagisa for his strange behavior, but was stopped by the final bell indicating class had begun.

The rest of that class period was agony. Rei knew Nagisa was back, but his friend hadn’t even looked at him. Rei couldn’t concentrate on his work, and he had to fight the urge to look back behind him to see if Nagisa was actually there.

No, he definitely was. Nagisa definitely walked by him. Rei shivered slightly. The way Nagisa regarded Rei--or disregarded him rather--made Rei feel absolutely _terrible_. He had to wait an agonizing 2 hours before lunch break was called so he could get up and finally turn around.

When he did, he found Nagisa glaring at him. Rei’s eyes widened, and his face burned. God Rei, stop it. He thought to himself. He gulped down the lump that had formed in his throat and slowly made his way past the other students and over to Nagisa.

“H-hi,” Rei stammered. _Nice one, Rei_.

“Hey,” Nagisa said shortly, going through his back to pull out his lunch.

“Ho--how are you?”

“Oh, I’m fine,” Nagisa said darkly, “Thanks for asking.”

Rei had never been this terrified of Nagisa.

“Nagisa--” Rei started

“Don’t,” Nagisa whispered, looking Rei straight in the eyes, voice just as dangerous as before.

“I don’t understand--”

“Leave me alone!” Nagisa stood and shouted, face red, eyes tearing up.

“Nagisa--” Rei said with wide eyes and a shaky voice. His heart rate picked up. He had no idea what to do.

“Just leave,” Nagisa sat back down, face red and hanging low, “Go eat somewhere else.”

Rei stumbled a bit backwards. _What? What was going on?_ He wanted to ask again, but he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know what he did. He blinked a few times, and to his horror realized that tears were starting to form in his own eyes. He quickly turned on the stop, grabbed his own lunch, and hurried outside to the roof where Makoto, Gou, and Haru probably were.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

“Wait, he’s here?” Makoto said smiling, “That great! Wait where is he?...”

“He…” Rei started, looked away, then whispered, “He told me to leave. He didn’t want to talk to me. He yelled at me in class and I don’t know why.”

The three of them just stared at him for a minute. Gou spoke first, “Why--why was he angry?”

“God, I don’t know,” Rei muttered and sat down next to them, “I have no idea what’s going on. He said he had the bad case of the flu though.”

Makoto looked away in thought, then his eyes widened again and he nearly shouted, “Wait! Maybe he doesn’t know that we tried to visit!”

“What do you mean?” Rei questioned, opening his lunch.

“That maid never guaranteed that she would give Nagisa our gift and tell him we visited. Maybe Nagisa thinks that we completely abandoned him.”

Rei looked up at Makoto, “Do you think that they really wouldn’t tell him we visited?”

“If they wouldn’t let us see him, that kind of makes sense,” Haru said, biting into his fried mackerel.

“Well that does just makes sense!” Gou shouted, standing up, “He probably feels abandoned! I mean any of you would too, if you didn’t get any visits from your friends when you were sick for a week!”

“But we sent him phone calls and text messages, too,” Makoto added rationally.

“Maybe his phone was dead?” Gou offered.

“That’s unlikely,” Haru replied.

“His parents might have taken his phone,” Rei said, holding his chin in thought, “If they didn’t want us to see him, maybe they wanted to cut off all communication,”

“So are you saying that Nagisa’s parents are behind this?” Gou asked.

“Well, the maid was nice enough when she first saw us. Then she left to see if we could see Nagisa. We heard yelling and something breaking, and then she came back and told us we had to leave,” Makoto shrugged.

Gou hummed in thought and offered, “Maybe they don’t like you guys?”

Rei and Makoto gasped out, “What do you mean?”

“Well, clearly Nagisa is from a higher social class right? Maybe his parents didn’t want Nagisa involved with you guys.”

“Well that doesn’t make sense because he was in the swim club in elementary school and his parents must have signed him up for that, knowing that people who weren’t as rich as them were going to be there,” Makoto replied.

“Maybe something recently happened?” Gou suggested.

“They could be angry that we didn’t make it to nationals,” Haru said.

“Maybe… but wouldn’t that just make them want Nagisa to hang out with us more and practice?” Rei said rationally.

The four of them thought on in silence for the rest of the period, until the bell rang signifying the end of lunch.

“Wait guys!” Rei shouted after his friends when they all stood up, “I’m in class with him right now! What do i do? What do I say?”

“I wouldn’t say anything to him right now. I would wait until after school gets out. You guys basically walk home together right?” Makoto said.

“We have to take the bus home, and my house is closer to the station so I get home before Nagisa does,” Rei muttered.

Makoto placed a comforting hand on Rei’s shoulder, “Don’t worry, Rei. Nagisa will come around. After all we have practice today right?”

Rei froze. Shit. Practice.

“I’m not sure if that makes me feel any better,” Rei replied, looking away.

Makoto laughed, turned to walk back into the building and said, “C’mon you aren’t afraid of Nagisa are you?”

Rei tried laughing it off like Makoto, but Makoto hadn’t seen the way Nagisa had looked at him after class.

***

“He’s still not here?” Makoto called from the other side of the pool.

Rei had been pacing the length of the pool the whole time, waiting for Nagisa to show up. Nagisa hadn’t looked or said another word to Rei after their first encounter, and when the final bell rang Nagisa tore off before Rei finished packing up. Rei assumed that Nagisa would head straight to practice. Or at least, he hoped he would.

If Nagisa wasn’t at practice, then he must have gone home... A thought suddenly hit him.

“Makoto! Haru! I think Nagisa must have headed home! But the train doesn’t leave station for another 30 minutes, so I might be able to catch up with him!”

Makoto swam closer to Rei, and rested his arms on the side of the pool, “Okay that sounds fine. Do you think he will talk to you?”

“I don’t know, but I have to leave now,” Rei called over his shoulder as he ran back to the locker rooms. He threw on his pants and buttoned up his shirt as fast as he could before speeding out the door and down the street that lead to the train station. He had 25 minutes.

He sprinted past students who were just leaving the school, rounded a corner and nearly crashed into a street light. _What the hell is wrong with me?_ He thought as he struggled to keep his breathing regular so he wouldn’t cramp up.

He thought back to his class period after lunch. He had walked in to find Nagisa still sitting a few seats behind him. His head was down and he wasn’t talking to anyone. Class had started soon after and Rei was left to his own thoughts for the next 2 hours.

And it was painful.

Before he met Nagisa, he was always able to keep a level head. He was always able to think clearly and come up with a solution that both made sense was, most of the time, accurate. No, he never had many close friends, but he didn’t need any. He worked better on his own, and that made him happy.

Then a certain short, lively, blond boy came into his life and basically turned everything he knew into a crazy and insane whirlwind without even knowing. This boy had made Rei completely change how he thought, and while he would never admit it to himself, he knew Nagisa had changed him into something better. Rei was always attracted to beautiful things, but Nagisa made him see the beauty in things that Rei previous thought was just the opposite.

And Rei wasn’t ready to lose that one person that very much changed his world around for the better.

Nagisa always smiled, always laughed, and always cared. Rei couldn’t always say the same about himself. And Rei loved that about Nagisa. No, Nagisa wasn’t the smartest, wasn’t the fastest swimmer, and wasn’t all that talented in school, but Nagisa never failed to make Rei feel special, to make him feel… loved almost.

He shook his head to rid himself of the blush that crept up on his face. Sure Nagisa was nice to him, always made him laugh, always smiled at him, was absolutely adorable…

_Wait, what am I saying?_ Rei thought, mentally kicking himself. He, Rei Ryugazaki, was definitely and most assuredly not crushing on his best friend. His best friend who was a guy. No way. _And besides_ , Rei thought to himself, _love is illogical. It doesn’t make any sense. There is no way I would be taken in by something as meaningless and ridiculous as love._

_Illogical yes_ , said a small part of him, _but meaningless? Ridiculous? You really don’t agree with that, do you?_

****


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

“Nagisa!” Rei called out breathlessly, hands on his knees, desperately trying to slow his breathing, “Wait, Nagisa, we need to talk.”

Rei looked up to find Nagisa looking down at him with a rather cold expression. Rei silently vowed to himself that he would never have Nagisa look at him in that regard ever again. It wasn’t Nagisa. It didn’t fit him.

“I don’t want to talk, Rei.”

“Please, Nagisa, you don’t understand--” Rei started, standing up straight, still a bit out of breath.

“I ‘don’t understand’?” Nagisa started dangerously, taking a step closer to Rei who took a step back. Rei gulped.

“Please, Nagisa,” Rei started again, trying to ignore the looks that some of the other people in the train station were giving him, “Please we need to talk,”

“Why would I want to talk to you?” Nagisa huffed, turning his back on Rei to board the train that gave a whistle signifying it would depart shortly.

“Because we came to visit you!” Rei nearly shouted, desperately grabbing for his friend. Nagisa stopped in his tracks, a few paces away from train.

He turned around shortly, and Rei’s breath hitched in his throat. Nagisa looked like he was about to start crying.

“No you didn’t,” Nagisa whispered as he turned to face Rei, but looked down at the ground.

Rei sighed. He tried reaching for Nagisa’s hand, not knowing what else to do, but the boy yanked it away.

“Sit with me? Please?” Rei offered and sat down on a bench. Nagisa made his way over, hair covering his eyes as he looked away from Rei.

“Nagisa,” Rei started, trying to get his friend to look at him, “We tried visiting your house. Haru had a school directory and we were able to find it. We rang the bell and we were let in but the maid forced us to leave without letting us see you. Makoto and I bought you cakes and cookies too, but I guess you didn’t get them. Nagisa, I’m really sorry, we tried calling and texting after but you didn’t pick up and we didn’t want to cause any trouble by visiting again and I--”

“Rei,” Nagisa interrupted softly, still facing away from Rei, “It’s okay, Rei. I understand now,”

“Wait,” Rei blinked, arms falling down to his sides, “Wait, I don’t understand,”

“It’s okay,” Nagisa turned to face Rei a little, but Rei still couldn’t make out his face. God, Rei just wanted Nagisa to turn to him, told him he was forgiven, hug him maybe, hold him… wait what?

“No,” Rei said and stood up right in front of Nagisa, “No, it’s not okay. Not at all! We came to visit you, and we were shot down! That is completely and utterly unfair because we were all so concerned and to be tossed out like that was completely rude and--”

“Rei, I know why you guys weren’t allowed to see me,” Nagisa whispered softly.

“You do?” Rei’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, “Was it because you were too sick for visitors? Oh well that would make sense because you didn’t answer your phone either--”

“My parents didn’t want you guys to visit me, and it had nothing to do with being sick,” It didn’t seem possible for Nagisa’s head to hang even lower, “And I know why.”

Rei blinked. How could it have nothing to do with him being sick?

“I don’t understand.”

“I know.”

“Well help me understand!”

“No.”

Rei blinked back in surprise again, “What?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Nagisa--”

“Don’t make me talk about it, Rei!” Nagisa shouted, finally looking up at him. Tears were rolling down his eyes and over his cheeks and finally dripped onto his lap.

Rei almost instinctively knelt in front of him and reached out, “Nagisa…”

“Don’t touch me,” Nagisa turned away from him again, “Please just, just--”

“Nagisa I want to know,” Rei started, reaching out his hand tentatively to hold Nagisa’s cheek. The boy flinched, but he didn’t pull away. Rei could feel the tears on his hand.

“You would hate me.”

“No, I wouldn’t.”

“How do you know?”

“How do you know I would hate you?”

Nagisa sighed and pushed Rei’s hand away from his face gently. Nagisa took a deep breath before looking up to face Rei, “Rei, my parents didn’t want you and Makoto and Haru to visit because… because I came out to them,”

Rei blinked, “‘Came out’?”

Nagisa took a shaky breath before continuing, “I told them… I told them that I liked boys. That’s why they didn’t want boys coming over to visit me.”

“I...I don’t understand,” Rei stammered. Nagisa sighed and gently pushed Rei aside so he could stand.

“It’s alright, Rei. You don’t need to. Can you do me a favor and just not tell anyone?”

Rei didn’t respond. Rei didn’t breathe. It was quite possible that for a few moments Rei’s brain completely stopped working. Nagisa… liked guys? He _liked_ liked them? And _that’s_ why Nagisa’s parents didn’t let them visit?

“Wait, Nagisa,” Rei stood and grabbed Nagisa’s arm to prevent him from walking away. Nagisa breath caught in this throat, and Rei heard it.

“Nagisa, are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” He whispered back. Definitely not fine.

Rei turned Nagisa around so he was facing him, “Why are you crying?

Nagisa looked away, just shaking his head.

“Please, Nagisa, I don’t understand!”

“I just told you!” Nagisa shouted back, though louder than Rei. His eyes were red and his voice was hoarse.

“I… I understand what you told me,” Rei whispered, “I don’t understand why that was the reason your parents forbid us from seeing you.”

Nagisa didn’t answer.

“Please--”

“Because I told them I was in love with my best friend, and I said his name. I told them this the night I got sick and they yelled at me for hours and wouldn’t let me leave my room. They took my phone away from me and the only person I saw for a week was a maid. They told me that… that I would have to quit the swim club.”

This was too much information to process at once. Rei asked one of the many thoughts that was racing through his mind, “Why would you have to quit swim club?”

Nagisa again turned his head away and whispered, “Because he’s on the swim team.”

He? Oh. The person… the person Nagisa loved? On the swim team. For some reason Rei’s blood began to boil. He didn’t want Nagisa to be with anyone. He wanted to be with Nagisa. He wanted to be that best friend. He wanted Nagisa to...wait...wait. Oh.

Rei felt extremely light-headed. Was he…was he in love with Nagisa?

“I--I’m sorry, Rei,” Nagisa took a step back, head still hanging low, “Rei, I’m sorry I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I’m so sorry, please forgive me, Rei. Please I’m so sorry I…” Nagisa stammered, then faded away. He sat back down on the bench, hands holding his head, shaking.

Meanwhile, Rei was in the middle of a war. Half of himself was saying that being in love with Nagisa was completely illogical and unrewarding and would ultimately lead to awkwardness and bitterness. However the other half, the half that Rei kicked himself because he agreed with this half, said that being in love with Nagisa wasn’t an awful thing at all. It wasn’t something to cause fear. And most importantly… it could make him happier than he ever could imagine. He didn’t trust that half at all.

But before Rei made any big decisions, he had to clarify.

“Nagisa,” Rei started slowly, kneeling back down next to Nagisa, “You said you were in love with your best friend--”

Nagisa hugged his knees into his chest and whispered, “Yeah, that’s you.”

Rei’s heart could have stopped beating. The Earth could have stopped moving. Time itself could have stopped and Rei Ryugasaki wouldn’t have noticed. Or cared.

“Nagisa--” Rei started, taking a deep breath to prepare himself for a speech that he was entirely unprepared for.

“Stop, Rei,” Nagisa whispered, “I know you don’t feel the same. And that’s okay I wasn’t really expecting you to. But I still want to be friends and I don’t want to ruin anything or make it awkward--”

Finally it was Rei’s turn to interrupt, “Nagisa. I never said that.”

“What?” Nagisa looked at Rei, confused.

Rei’s face burned red and he had to look away as stuttered out, “I...I uh… I never said that I didn’t...that I didn’t feel the same.”

“What?”

“I think… I think that I like you, too,”

“What?”

Rei finally found his nerve and looked back at Nagisa. He didn’t look as upset as before, which definitely made Rei’s heart feel lighter, but he looked confused.

“Nagisa, I--” Rei looked straight at Nagisa, whose eye began to widen in realization. Rei took a deep breath and continued, “I like you Nagisa. Uh… more than friends? Is that what--?”

Rei was cut off when the wind was knocked out of him by a pair of arms that wrapped around his neck and a heavy chest colliding with his own. Rei was promptly pushed to the ground.

“Oh, Rei,” Nagisa giggled. He giggled. Rei managed to straighten his glasses and look up to find Nagisa practically straddling his waist and smiling. Smiling. Rei didn’t know how much he missed that.

Rei struggled to sit up, causing Nagisa to fall a little so they were both sitting on the floor of the train station in each other’s laps. Rei thanked God that this place was empty. Even if it was just for the moment.

“Sorry for knocking you over,” Nagisa giggled again. Rei smiled.

“You’re smiling.”

“Huh? Oh, yeah I’m a bit happier now than I was before,” He said as he ran a nervous hand through his hair, “Listen, Rei. I just want to clarify that we are both on the same page, you know? I mean I really like you and it’s okay if you don’t feel the same I totally understand I don’t want to force you to--”

Rei sighed. Nagisa really could be _incredibly_ incompetent at times. Without calculating the risks, without a single rational thought, Rei tangled a free hand into Nagisa’s hair and brought his face in closer to his own.

And Rei had no idea what he was doing. He had never been in love before. Granted, he was barely 17, but he couldn’t ever remember having a crush on anyone. A small part of him had told him that he liked Nagisa a little more than he liked his other friends, but he was always able to ignore that part of him. Because he really did think love was irrational, and that it didn't matter or mean anything. But now was different. He looked at Nagisa and felt something in his stomach that rose up him and caused him to forget how to breathe and think. Now, he didn’t want to ignore that thought telling him he liked Nagisa. All he wanted was to wrap his arms around his friend, close his eyes, and gently press his lips against his. His best friend. His best friend that he has fallen completely, madly, and irrationally in love with.

So he did.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four  
It didn’t take long for Nagisa to return the kiss, and his response made Rei practically shiver with happiness. He couldn’t remember ever feeling this way--like his heart was soaring and his mind clear of all thoughts except for Nagisa. Rei smiled against the kiss, and Nagisa sighed.

The kiss didn’t last very long. Rei wasn’t a very experienced kisser at all and broke the kiss before he could embarrass himself. Nagisa had definitely kissed before. Rei opened his eyes to find Nagisa looking right back at him. He was smiling, and he leaned in to kiss Rei’s cheek.

“We should get up,” Rei muttered in Nagisa’s ear. Nagisa hummed in agreement, but made no move to get up. Rei sighed, stood up and grabbed Nagisa along with him. The shorter boy giggled and sat next to him on the bench.

“Have you kissed before, Rei?” Nagisa asked.

Rei’s face heated up and he looked away, “Uh… No, I haven’t.”

“That’s okay,” Nagisa said happily, resting his head on Rei’s shoulder, “You’re a good kisser, Rei,”

Rei blushed deeply and stammered, “So ha-have you ever kissed before?”

“A few times,” he felt Nagisa shrug against him.

Rei felt a little embarrassed for his lack of experience… and also a bit jealous. Rei looked at the ground, feeling the heat rise up in his cheeks.

“Oh no, Rei it’s okay!” Nagisa laughed and nuzzled his head against Rei’s shoulder, “I don’t think it matters how many people we’ve kissed. All that matters is that we’re only kissing each other, right? I mean, I don’t want to define anything yet because it’s so early and I was really angry with you earlier and I shouldn’t have been and oh my God what will my parents say and I--”

“Nagisa,” Rei smoothly interrupted, “First of all, I only want to kiss you. Second of all, we all understand why you were upset, and none of us think that any of this is your fault, okay?”

“Okay,” Nagisa whispered against Rei’s shoulder.

“I’m guessing we aren’t going to tell anyone?”

“My parents can’t find out.”

“I know.”

“I don’t want to drag you into anything, Rei. I don’t want to date or do anything because this really isn’t safe and I don’t want my parents to be angry with me or you and I’m scared,” Nagisa faltered out.

Rei sighed and turned slightly to hold Nagisa’s head in his hands, “I don’t want you to be scared, Nagisa. I want you to be happy. And I want to make you happy. I don’t mind keeping this a secret. I understand why you don’t want your parents to know.”

“Rei, I--”

“I want to be with you, Nagisa. But if you don’t want to because you don’t want you parents to be upset, I understand.”

Nagisa’s eyes filled up with tears, “Rei, I want to be with you, too… I just...” he whispered.

Rei’s face burned a bright red while he continued, “And I… and all I care about is that we are both happy.”

Nagisa sighed and put his head back on Rei’s shoulder, “Why is all of this so complicated?” Nagisa said bitterly.

“I don’t know,” He replied truthfully.

There was a moment of peaceful silence, “Rei?”

“Yes?”

“Have you been in love before?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

“Nagisa?”

“Yes?”

“...Have you?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

Rei didn’t know why he felt so relieved. He smiled to himself and closed his eyes. The next train wouldn’t come for another half an hour, and Rei was perfectly comfortable exactly where he was.

“Rei?” Nagisa questioned again. Rei held back a laugh.

“Yes, Nagisa?”

“What should I do about swimming?”

Oh right. Shit.

“I’m not sure,” He sighed. He paused for only a moment, “Will you be able to see us outside of school at all?”

“I’m not sure,” Nagisa’s voice cracked ever so slightly, and he buried his head back in Nagisa’s shoulder.

Rei frowned. Would he only be able to see Nagisa during school hours? Would his parents really force him to do that? What exactly did he tell his parents? And what did they tell him?

“Nagisa, what exactly did you tell your parents?”

“That I liked boys.”

“Is that it? Besides that they were your best friend on the swim team?”

Nagisa giggled a bit and said, “Well I told them the truth. I told them that I liked both girls and boys. And they lectured me for a very long time and told me that being with another man would get me nowhere in life and nothing good could ever come out of it and blah blah blah and basically ended the conversation saying that they ‘Pray to God you marry a girl, for your own sake.’”

“Nagisa!” Rei practically shouted and stood up, “Nagisa, that’s brilliant!”

“Er… I don’t understand?”

“Nagisa, you like girls, too!”

“Uh… yes?”

“This is brilliant! Don’t you see?”

“Are you going to pretend to be a girl? I mean you kind of have the name for it…”

“No. And shut up, you’re one to talk,” Rei ignored Nagisa’s giggling and continued, “If you pretend to date a girl, you might be able to trick your parents into letting you see us and be back on the swim team!”

Nagisa raised an eyebrow, “Pretend to date a girl? How would that even work? Who would I even ‘date’?”

Rei paused for a moment, “Gou!”

Nagisa frowned, “She’s not really my type. I don’t think I’m hers either.”

“If we tell her the situation, then she might be able to help us!”

“We’d have to tell her we’re totally gay though,”

“We’d only technically have to tell her that you like boys and were banned from seeing us, and in order to trick your parents to letting you back on the swim team you have to pretend to date a girl.”

Nagisa blinked, “So… so you don’t want to tell her we aren’t dating?”

“I’m saying we don’t have to tell her.”

“Oh.” Nagisa blinked hard again. Rei seemed to notice his mistake a little too late.

“Wait Nagisa, I don’t mean that I didn’t want her to know we’re dating, I just wasn’t sure if you wanted other people to know is all.”

“Sure,” Nagisa looked away.

“Nagisa, I’m serious! I don’t mind telling her. And Haru and Makoto, I really don’t! You’re the one who said your parents can’t find out.”

“They won’t!”

“Then we can tell those people then!”

“Okay!” Nagisa’s voice cracked, and his breath caught in his throat.

Rei sighed and sat down next to Nagisa. Nagisa scooted slightly away from him.

“Nagisa, I didn’t mean for it to come across like that. I thought you would be more comfortable if fewer people knew.”

“I know.”

Rei paused for a minute, unsure of what to say next, “I really don’t mind them knowing.”

“I know you don’t.”

“Do you think they’ll be surprised?”

Nagisa’s mouth twitched, “Probably. Rei, you don’t think that they will hate us, do you?”

“Of course not. They’re like family.”

“My actual family hates me for it.”

“Nagisa, that isn’t true--”

“You should have seen them, Rei,” Nagisa turned to look at Rei, “You should have heard them,” He looked like he was on the verge of tears again, and Rei didn’t want to be the one to cause him to cry. Not again.

Rei sighed and gently pushed Nagisa so the boy would be leaning on his shoulder again,“Nagisa, they probably dreamed up of the perfect boy who excelled at everything, followed the rules, dated a nice girl, had a good job, got married, and had kids to carry on the family name. And you coming out to them must have been… a really big shocker, because everything they dreamed of may come crashing down.

“But I don’t think that means your parents hate you. They might be upset, and they might try to change you, but that’s just because I don’t think they know any better. But Nagisa, all that matters is that you have someone, maybe even four friends, who love and support you and don’t think that this makes you any less of a person.”

Nagisa bit his lip as he looked at Rei, opened his mouth to say something, but shook his head and rested it back on Rei’s shoulder, “Thank you,” He whispered softly into him, holding the top of his jacket with a clenched fist.

Rei sighed, and let his head fall of his friend’s...boyfriend’s?... head. He didn’t want to believe that Nagisa’s parents hated him. But Rei knew that this world was cruel, and that sometimes parents don’t always act like parents. He closed his eyes and silently prayed that their friends would accept them, treat them the same, and maybe even go so far as to help them through this. God knows Rei is going to need help with this. He’s surprised he’s even gotten this far.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

“Do we tell them now?” Nagisa muttered silently through the corner of his lips to Rei while they were walking to school. So far it’s been five days since Nagisa confessed to Rei. Nagisa started acting normal again, as if nothing peculiar had happened when he was out sick. When Makoto and Haru questioned, he just said he didn’t want to talk about it yet. But they both could tell that their friends' patience was starting to wear thin. Like right now, as the four of them walked to school.

“Do you have any idea what to say?” Rei whispered back.

“Not a clue.”

“Neither do I.”

“Should we just start making out, or--”

“Nagisa!” Rei said rather loudly, drawing Makoto and Haru’s attention.

“What’s going on?” Makoto questioned.

“Nothing!” Rei and Nagisa said at the same time.

“That’s exactly what you both said when you tried to hide Rin from me at that festival,” Haru remarked.

“Oh!...Uh we were just talking about uh… some history work that we’re doing today…” Nagisa managed to come up with.

“And that made Rei scream your name?” Makoto quirked an eyebrow.

“Well, I’m sure there _are_ other things that could make him do that, I suppose…” Nagisa smirked.

Rei promptly turned red and punched Nagisa in the shoulder.

“Ow!” Nagisa gasped, but laughed uncontrollably, “Come on that was a good one!”

“No, it was _crude_ ,” Rei sniffed, holding his head high as if he wasn’t embarrassed .

“It was true though.”

“Was not.”

“Was, _too_.”

Rei’s eyebrow twitched, “I’ll hit you again.”

“Yes, please,” Nagisa drawled, and bit his lip in an attempt to hide his laughter.

“For Christ’s sake Nagisa, this isn’t what I meant!” Rei and Nagisa had talked about being as subtle as they could with this topic. Nagisa's view on subtlety might have been different than Rei's, which shouldn't really have surprised Rei. 

“Do you have any other ideas, Sherlock?”

“No, but--”

Makoto stopped Rei and Nagisa in their tracks by stepping directly in front of them, “Guys. Seriously. What’s going on?”

The boys looked at each other nervously.

"Well... uh..." Nagisa started.

Nagisa and Rei were able to get together that weekend and talk. Nagisa's parents didn't suspect anything, to the boys' knowledge, but just to be safe they met at the local library where it was public enough not to cause suspicion. Neither of them knew any great ways to creatively tell their friends that they started dating, and they weren't sure if they should be casual or serious when they brought the topic up, or if someone else did. Nagisa was worried out of his mind that he would lose his closest friends, disappoint his parents, and never be able to swim again if his friends didn't accept them.

Rei didn't want any of those things to happen. He wanted everything to remain the same, except of course regarding his relationship with Nagisa. He really liked that infernal dork. But if he had to chose between his own personal happiness and Nagisa's, he would chose the latter without even a moment's hesitation. When Rei suggested that they didn't see each other until the time seemed right, Nagisa shut it down almost immediately. Yes, Nagisa's friends, parents, and swimming were immensely important to him, but Rei also held a place in Nagisa's heart. While Nagisa felt that he could wait forever for Rei, he didn't want to wait. People's approval and happiness meant a lot to him, but he would never cast aside his own personal happiness just to please others.

He tried doing that with his parents. He tried desperately to be the perfect son. To be just as compliant and disciplined as his older sisters, but that just wasn't him. Nagisa wanted to be himself. He wanted to be around people who loved and cared for him, and he was sick and tired of living with people who constantly bullied him about who he was and what he liked. It was time for him to learn that being himself was something great, and he deserved someone who fully accepted him for him.

And Rei did that. Rei stood up for Nagisa, cared for him, comforted him, and did everything a true friend would do. At times, Rei acted more like a family then Nagisa's actual family. And Rei knew that, too. And it ripped his heart out. Because Rei knew that people were cruel, even the people who should be with you one hundred percent of the way. And Rei knew that Nagisa's parents were not going to be there to support Nagisa for who he was. There was nothing Rei could do to change that. So Rei was going to be there for Nagisa. And he could do that. He would still roll his eyes at Nagisa's childish behavior, he would still tell him when he needed to knock it off, but Rei was never going to bully Nagisa like he knew his parents would. Rei vowed that he would always be there for Nagisa, through thick and thin. Because if anyone on this planet deserved love, it was Nagisa. If all Nagisa did was love and care for people, Rei thought it was about time someone returned the favor.

So when Nagisa managed to finally get out that they were dating, Rei was surprised at how quickly Makoto and Haru accepted them. He was upset at himself for doubting the friendship, but he wasn't a fool. He knew that you can't trust just anyone, especially on topics as touchy as this. Sure, in a perfect world Rei and Nagisa wouldn't have to worry about what people thought, but this world wasn't perfect. They had to prepare themselves for the fact that people aren't going to accept them like their friends did. That people will be cruel. Like Nagisa's parents. But to Rei and Nagisa, what they have together is well worth the pain they could face.

***

"Last day of practice before it's too cold to swim," Nagisa whined dramatically as he flopped sideways into their high school pool.

"It's not like we won't have any other chances to swim," Rei said reasonably as he strapped his goggles on.

"I wish we had an actual indoor pool to swim in though," Makoto said as his head popped up from under the water, "We could always go to a beach..."

"Or a bathtub," Nagisa giggled.

Haru glared at him and replied, "It's not like I have much of a choice."

"Haru, have you ever showered? I mean at home not after you swim in the chlorine," Nagisa asked.

"I like baths more," Haru answered.

"That's like swimming in your own dirt, though," Nagisa reasoned.

"I'm not dirty,"

"If you don't take showers then you are."

"I told you, I like baths more."

"Do you even understand what I'm saying?"

"No."

Nagisa giggled and splashed Haru. 

"So what should we do for our last day of practice?" Makoto asked as Rei cautiously entered the pool.

"Oh! Oh!" Nagisa said bouncing up and down with his hand raised in the air as if he was still in class, "Can we play sharks and minnows?"

"That's a child's game," Rei huffed.

"So what? It's fun! Wait how do you know? You didn't learn how to swim until this year," Nagisa remarked.

"I... I read about it somewhere," Rei looked away and blushed.

"Well that's great, we don't need to explain the rules!" Nagisa said with his arms folded, "C'mon we need to play now!"

Makoto sighed and laughed saying, "Alright, I don't have a problem with this. Haru?"

"I don't care."

"Yay! So we can do it?" Nagisa said, looking up at the captain.

Makoto laughed again, "Sure. But you're it first."

"That's not fair!" Nagisa protested.

"It was your idea to play," Rei smirked.

"But... wait! We should have a race and the loser has to be it!"

"Oh, I like that idea," Rei said, standing up straighter in the water, hands on his hips, "I've never raced all of you before, so this should be a new experience for me to show off my beautiful freestyle form!"

"Or we could all swim our own strokes," Makoto offered.

"No way! Breaststroke is way slower compared to freestyle!"

"We could all swim a different stroke?" Makoto suggested.

"I only swim freestyle," Haru said.

"What about just for today?" Nagisa asked.

"No."

"Please, Haru? We won't tell anyone you swam another stroke, we promise!" Nagisa whined, nudging his head against Haru.

"No way."

"You should just give up, Nagisa," Makoto laughed, "It's not like we haven't tried this before."

"What if you're in the ocean, and the only stroke you're allowed to swim was breaststroke but you wouldn't know how to swim it properly so you got eaten by a shark!" Nagisa argued.

"That would never happen," Haru muttered.

"I'm just saying _what if_."

"Then, I guess I would be eaten by a shark."

"No, Haru!" Nagisa whined and nudged his head against Haru's shoulder, "Just for today? Pretty please?"

"Absolutely not."

Nagisa huffed, then said, "Well, I guess we all have to swim freestyle because _someone_ is too stubborn for their own good."

Haru wrinkled his nose.

"Okay, freestyle it is," Makoto clapped his hands together. When they all climbed out of the pool, Makoto asked, "So, who's going to call it?"

"I will," came a voice from behind them.

The boys turned around in shock when they recognized the voice. It was Gou.


	6. Chapter 6

Makoto and Haru looked at each other nervously. Rei stared at her with wide eyes and Nagisa trembled nervously by the side of the pool. When Rei and Nagisa came out to Gou... she didn't take it very well. She laughed first, saying how it was a very funny joke, but when she found out they were being serious, she told them off for being "disgusting". Nagisa could barely speak for the rest of the day. Rei was absolutely livid with Gou, but he didn't say anything. Gou ignored the swim team for the remainder of the semester, and the boys ignored her right back. Occasionally she would look their way and turn away with a huff, but she didn't seem to have told another person about Rei and Nagisa. While the team was grateful for that, they were still bitter towards Gou for abandoning them. But they got over it.

But here she was, wearing her usual casual clothes that she would wear to swim practice as if it was just any other day.

Gou took a deep breath, and walked straight over to Rei. He took a step back, eyeing her carefully.

"What are you doing here?" He managed to say without losing his temper.

"I came... I came to apologize for my behavior towards you and Nagisa," Gou mumbled, looking straight at Rei. When she stepped closer, he could see her eyes watering.

Rei regarded her coldly, not sure if he should forgive her on the spot. Especially for hurting Nagisa the way she did.

"What makes you think we can forgive you so easily," Rei said, glaring at the shorter girl.

"You shouldn't forgive me," She muttered, looking away, "I reacted poorly. I shouldn't have judged the way I did. And I," She took a deep, shaky breath and continued, "And I am incredibly sorry for hurting you and Nagisa and for leaving the team like I did!"

Rei took a step back from her. He wasn't sure what to say.

"Gou," Nagisa started, looking at Gou straight. His voice shook slightly, but he maintained eye contact, "You hurt me. You treated us as if... as if we were something awful. You even called us disgusting. so why are you here?"

She looked away from Nagisa, "I feel tremendously bad for--"

"I think what Nagisa means," Makoto interrupted dangerously, "Is why did you suddenly have a change of heart."

Gou gulped and stammered, "Someone...someone I really care about... came out to me--"

"And we weren't people you cared about?" Rei interrupted loudly, glaring at Gou again.

"That--that's not what I mean!" Gou sobbed, head falling into her hands, "I didn't know anything about... about being gay! All I ever heard about it was that it was gross and abnormal and I... I thought the same because that's the way I was taught!"

"You should have learned to think for yourself," Rei scoffed, "You can't go around believing what people say just because they say it."

"It's what my parents taught me!"

"Don't use your parents as an excuse," Nagisa muttered, "My parents taught me the same thing, and my feelings on the topic are quite different than theirs I would say."

"It's different for you because you're gay--"

"First of all, I'm not gay. I like girls, too. And second of all you don't need to be gay to understand they're still people, too. Look at Makoto and Haru, they arent gay and they don't hate us!" Nagisa said, pointing at his friends.

Makoto coughed and stammered out, "A-anyway, you can't expect us to just take you back and act like nothing has changed."

"I know that," Gou said, looking at her feet, "But that doesn't mean I don't still feel terrible, and that I don't want to make it up to you. All of you."

The boys looked at each other, not knowing what to do. Nagisa spoke again, "If we take you back on the team, there are a few conditions."

"O-of course," Gou said, looking up at Nagisa.

"You cannot tell anyone that I'm dating Rei. And if you have told anyone, make sure that you tell them that you were wrong. My parents can't find out. You also can't just pretend that nothing happened. It wasn't just me and Rei you hurt, you hurt the whole team. You have to make it up to all of us and show us that you really are sorry."

"I-I am really sorry," Gou said quickly, "I am, and I promise I will make it up to you. To all of you."

Nagisa sighed and looked over at Rei, who shrugged.

"Well, I'm okay with having our manager come back," Nagisa said with his arms crossed.

"If Nagisa is, then I am, too," Rei nodded.

"Same with me," Makoto agreed as well.

The boys looked over at Haru, who hadn't said a single thing this entire time.

"Haru?" Makoto said, nudging Haru in his side.

Haru didn't react to Makoto. He just looked at Gou and said in a rather monotone voice, "Is Rin dating a guy?"

"W-what? N-no!" Gou stammered and looked away, blushing.

Haru smirked, "I knew it."

"W-wait! H-how did you know?" Gou looked up at Haru with her mouth open.

"I got this feeling."

"Y-you can't tell anyone!" Gou stammered.

"Does it look like I have any friends besides these three?"

"I mean it, Haru! Rin told me not to tell anyone--"

"Oh my God. Gou, you're kidding me," Nagisa said, eyes wide and smiling.

"Guys, stop it seriously! I promised him I wouldn't tell you guys..."

"It's not our fault if we found out on our own," Makoto reasoned.

"Well, she did say someone close to her came out," Rei said, sounding surprised at this new revelation.

"I have other people who are close to me besides you guys and my brother," Gou said stubbornly.

"Wow," Makoto laughed, running a hand through his hair, "Who would have thought? So... can you tell us who he's dating?"

"No way! I can't tell you guys everything."

"Is it Aiichiro?" Haru said looking at Gou.

"Haru, how do you know everything?" Gou almost shouted, closing her eyes and looking very frustrated.

Makoto burst out laughing and said, "Seriously, Haru how did you know that? And I can't believe it! Is this guy Aii the one with the light hair who trails Rin everywhere?"

"Yes," Gou muttered while she hid her face in her hands, "Seriously don't tell Rin..."

Makoto contined to laugh while Gou chided him for laughing at her older brother. Haru looked smug and turned to jump back into the water.

"Who would have thought?" Rei muttered with a laugh.

Nagisa hummed in agreement, pressing his back against Rei while watching their friends argue and swim.

"Everything feels so normal again," Nagisa muttered while holding Rei's arms across his chest.

"For now, yes," Rei agreed, "Eventually you're parents are going to find out. What's going to happen after high school? Hell, what's going to happen when Makoto and Haru leave--"

"Shhh, Rei," Nagisa giggled and tilted his head up so he could see his boyfriend properly, "Don't worry about that okay? Everything's going to work out."

"I know, but--"

"Can you just shut up and kiss me?"

"What? No, not here, Nagisa--"

"Please, Rei," Nagisa begged, eyes wide, playing that puppy dog card that nearly won against Rei every time. Including this time.

"Okay, fine. But just a small peck--"

Nagisa giggled and wrapped his arms around Rei's neck, pulling him down so their lips could meet. Rei's arms fumbled around and completely lost his balance, causing them both to tip over and splash into the pool. Before the boys knew it they were underwater, desperately trying to detangle themselves so they could break the surface to breathe. When they finally caught a breath of air, Nagisa swam over to Rei and hugged him around the neck and giggled, "I didn't think you were that clumsy."

"I'm not clumsy," Rei defended, and Nagisa could feel Rei blushing against his cheek, "You pulled me down unexpectedly and it only made sense that I was unable to remain upright!"

Nagisa giggled and held Rei even closer, "You're definitely clumsy. Maybe even more than me."

"Now that would be something," Rei mumbled in Nagisa's ear, and held him closer to his chest.

They were broken up when Makoto coughed awkwardly.

"So... you guys want to race then?"

Nagisa smiled and and Rei sighed. They both climbed out of the pool and got ready for Gou to call the race.

Rei couldn't help but smile to himself when he looked over to see Nagisa talking and laughing with Gou and the others. Nagisa was right, everything did seem back to normal. And Rei was immensely grateful. While Gou was still completely, in the wrong for treating the team the way she did, she was trying hard to earn their forgiveness. And Rei forgave her. If anything, he was just happy that Nagisa was happy. He smiled again as the two of them laughed and joked around as if nothing had happened.

And if it made Nagisa happy, then Rei could accept that. Rei could forgive Gou for the pain she caused them both because he knew she was going to make it up. It wasn't going to be easy, but Rei was patient. He smiled again as he dove into the water, forgetting everything that just happened to focus on the race.

 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

"Nagisa?" Rei called from the bedroom, lifting pillows and clothes off the floor, "Do you know where my navy blue tie is? I can't seem to find it."

 "Have you checked the second drawer?" Came the reply from the kitchen.

"Yeah!"

"The left one?"

"Yeah, I checked it, but--"

Nagisa momentarily stopped flipping pancakes and eggs to wait a response, "Did you find it?"

No response. Nagisa shrugged and resumed cooking breakfast. He hoped that Rei would wear his dark red one. He liked how it matched Rei's glasses. Rei still wore the same glasses 7 years after they graduated high school. Nagisa giggled to himself remembering the last time he brought that up with Rei, only for the taller man to blush and mumble something about not liking change.

Nagisa heard Rei open the bedroom door and step out, and turned from the oven to ask him what time he would be getting home from work today, only to laugh at Rei's and his navy blue tie, "So you found it?"

"It was in the second drawer on the left," Rei muttered, looking away.

"When am I ever wrong?" Nagisa hummed as he filled two plates with pancakes and eggs.

"Not often," Rei smiled and kissed his boyfriend on the cheek as he made his way to the table, "Breakfast smells good."

"Well of course, I'm making it!" Nagisa smiled, pointing his spatula at Rei, "Oh, before I forget, what time are you coming home from work today?"

"The usual. Around 7:30 or 8 o'clock."

"I hate how they always keep you so late!" Nagisa whined and set the plates on the table in front of Rei, "Coffee or orange juice?"

"Orange juice, please. And they keep you pretty late at work, too, sometimes."

"Well the restaurant needs help cleaning up, and I like talking with Haru! Makoto, Rin and Aiichiro come by sometimes, too when they're off duty or free."

Rei sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "I wish _I_ had more free time! As soon as I get this promotion I'm sure to have less hours, they need someone to do all the dirty work, and it makes sense that I have to because I'm still relatively new and--"

"Rei," Nagisa giggled and leaned forward across the table to kiss his boyfriend's forehead, "As long as you come home at the end of the day, or maybe even into the next day if it's really late, I don't care."

Rei smiled and turned to his food, "So finals are coming up, right?"

Nagisa cringed as he bit into his eggs, "After New Years yeah..."

"Are you studying?"

"O-of course Rei!"

Rei looked at Nagisa with narrowed eyes as he drank his orange juice, "You know I could help you study--"

"No, Rei, really," Nagisa laughed nervously, "I don't want you to worry about this, you have your own work to do."

"Your stuff is just as important as mine," Rei sighed, "I just want to help you, okay?"

"I know," Nagisa lowered his head, "I'm just nervous. I was never good at studying and tests--"

"That's why I want to help!" Rei said confidently siting up straighter, "I'm working on projects and research that can change the entire way humanity sees space travel and not to mention it's absolutely _beautiful_ and if I can do all of that I'm sure I can help you study and ace your finals!"

Nagisa giggled at Rei as he continued to boast about how beautiful his work was, and how he was going to help Nagisa pass his tests. Even seven years later, Rei hadn't changed a bit. Nagisa could say the same about himself. Well almost. He definitely ate healthier. Occasionally.  

After about ten minutes of Rei's chatter, Nagisa was forced to practically drag Rei and his briefcase out the door.

"Have a good day at work!" Nagisa called down the hallway. Rei turned and waved at Nagisa before rounding a corner.

Nagisa sighed and laughed lightly as he closed the front door. He couldn't believe Rei had forgotten his own birthday. _Again_.

***

"Are you sure he's coming?"

"I texted him to meet me at your restaurant at 9!"

"Did he reply back?"

"...No. But he doesn't always reply back. And his read receipts were on and it said that he read it!"

"The term 'read' just means that the app was opened. It doesn't mean he actually read and comprehended it."

"I know that, Haru!" Nagisa sighed and continued wiping down the table, scrubbing vigorously at a particularly stubborn ketchup stain, "Is Makoto coming?"

"Yeah. Any minute now."

"And the kids?" Nagisa looked over at Haru who was fixing up Rei's birthday cake.

"Yeah," Haru smiled a little to himself, played with the ring on his left hand, and Nagisa sighed. Rei and Nagisa wanted kids, too, but with Nagisa's job and school, and Rei's work it would be nearly impossible to adopt. Rei would tell him in a few years when things settled down.

Nagisa sighed again and continued clearing the tables of plates and cups to set up for Rei's surprise party. He wondered how long a few years really was.

***

"I'm freaking out here, Ma-makoto," Rei stammered into his phone that was balancing between his shoulder and his head as he stumbled to put on a nicer pair of shoes.

"Anyone would, Rei," Makoto replied in that same kind and caring voice he always used. Which was currently driving Rei insane.

"What if he says--?"

"Stop, Rei," Makoto said abruptly, "You've been going out for eight years now right? And Nagisa's still head over heels for you!"

"I know, I know, but... but this is a huge step, Makoto! Who knows what he'll say... are you sure tonight is a good night to do it?"

"Yes. Now stop worrying and get dressed and meet us at the restaurant at 9, okay? And try to act surprised, Nagisa put a lot of work into this."

Rei sighed and pushed his glasses back towards his face, "Alright. I'll see you at 9."

Rei hung up, and shoved his phone in his back pocket. He took a trembling, deep breath before grabbing the keys and a tiny red box off the counter. He closed and locked the door behind him, and made his way to the elevator.

He pressed the down arrow button and waited impatiently for the elevator to come. What _if he says no? What if he leaves you? What if he never wants to see you again, all because you want to be selfish and have him all to yourself?_ These questions kept going through Rei's mind over and over again, which made his face pale and his legs shake in anxiety. He told himself that there was no way Nagisa would say no. Nagisa told him he loved him, so this must be what Nagisa wants, right? God all these insecure and irrational thoughts of Nagisa not actually loving Rei did nothing but make him feel worse and worse.

He fumbled with the box in his hand and shoved it in his coat pocket as the elevator doors opened. His head was down as he walked in, not wanting anyone to see his face so red with embarrassment, when he literally bumped into someone.

"Oh, I'm very sorry," Rei said with a nervous smile as he looked up, "Please forgive me--"

Rei's voice fell, and he felt his face pale. He looked up at the man in front of him, and then at the smaller women standing by his side. No. It couldn't be. Not today.

"No," Rei whispered, shaking his head, backing into the elevator, looking terrified.

"Ryugazaki," The taller man regarded cooly, "Where is my son?"

Rei managed to get a grip over himself and responded just as abrasively, "He's at our friend's restaurant. I'm going over there now. We're going on a date."

The taller man cringed, and Rei couldn't help but smirk. The man sneered and pulled Rei out of the elevator by his collar and slammed him into a wall. Before Rei could even open his mouth to catch his breath, the taller man said, "Take us there. Now."

"I don't think he has any interest in seeing you." Rei glared back. His heart was racing and he was even more terrified of Nagisa's father than he was of asking for Nagisa's hand.

"We don't care. You're taking us to him." He let go of the younger man's shirt and took a step back, still glaring.

Rei struggled to calm his breathing. After a moment, Rei looked up and met the man's glare with his own, now stronger than before "No."

"Listen here--" The man started, anger showing in his red face.

"No," Rei repeated, voice firm, "You don't get to come back into Nagisa's life after years of neglect. We've had to make it on our own, without help. All because you don't agree with who your son loves. I'm sorry, but there is no way I'm taking you to see him. You do not deserve it."

The older Hazuki blinked at Rei. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, and his face continued to redden, but the older man didn't respond.

"I don't know how you found out where we live," Rei said in a quiet voice, "But I'm not letting you back into his life. He has cried into my arms countless times because of you. I won't allow that to happen to him again. I love him far too much. Now," Rei straightened his back, marched into the elevator and hit the button for the ground floor, "If you don't mind, I'm going to ask for your son's hand in marriage."

 

*** 

 

"Happy birthday, Rei!" came a very familiar, very happy voice from his left. Nagisa threw his arms around Rei and kissed his cheek. Rei chuckled and muttered a quiet thank you and kissed his partner back.

Rei looked around to see all of his friends standing around a table. He forced the incident that just occurred out of his head for now. He'd talk to Makoto about it later. He definitely didn't want Nagisa to bump into his parents on the way back to their apartment.

"How does it feel to be 26?" Makoto laughed, shaking his friend's hand.

"The closer I get to 30 the scarier it is," Rei replied honestly.

"26 is a good number though. I like being 26."

"Daddy, daddy!" A little girl with pitch black hair and dark brown eyes whined and pulled on the end of Makoto's shirt.

"Yes, sweetie?" Makoto crouched down so he was looking at her at eye level.

"Daddy won't play with me!"

"Daddy's busy cooking for my friend Rei. Did you say happy birthday to him?"

"'Happy birthday to him'" the toddler repeated. Makoto and Rei laughed, and the father picked up the girl who easily straddled his waist.

"I still can't believe you and Haru have your own. God we all graduated yesterday, I swear." Rei sighed and looked over at his boyfriend who was fussing over some of the food that Haru brought out.

"I still remember our last meet together," Makoto remembered fondly, "I miss that. More than anything."

"What do you mean, we still go swimming occasionally."

"Oh, you know what I mean," Makoto laughed, the light gleaming in his eyes, "Just the thrill of the race. Winning or losing it was just the thrill."

"I miss it, too" Rei whispered, "But I wouldn't go back in time. Even for that. I'm happy the way things turned out."

"Me too." It was Makoto's turn to look fondly at his partner--his husband. Just the word "husband" seemed to make Rei lightheaded. 

As if reading his thoughts, Makoto turned to him and said, "Don't worry, Rei. Everything's going to be okay."

"Actually," Rei started in a low voice, checking to see that Nagisa's attention was still momentarily off of Rei's, "Something has developed. I can't say now, but before I leave I might need to ask you of a favor."

Makoto looked at him curiously, but nodded anyway. Rei sighed, thanked his friend, and turned to his boyfriend to calm him down. He assured him that everything was great, and that he was going to have a great time. And he did. 

****

Sousuke, Rin, and Aiichiro showed up a few hours later, and by that time their little party was in full swing. Haru's restaurant was empty except for those who were attending the party. The food was amazing as always, now that Haru was forced to cook food that wasn't just mackerel. Rei was genuinely enjoying himself. Nagisa always did something special for his birthday, and Rei always appreciated his boyfriend's sweet gestures.

Slowly, the party started to die down. The children were asleep in the back of the restaurant, and the old friends were now sitting by the bar being served by Makoto.

"Wow, it must be nearing 11," Rin yawned and winked at his boyfriend, Aiichiro, "Time to be heading out?"

 _Oh boy. That was the cue. Not now._ Rei thought in a panic as Makoto gave him a seemingly subtle look and Rin stood up from the bar and raised his glass.

"Happy birthday, Rei! I'm sorry we didn't start off as friends, but I'm glad I met you and was able to swim with you. It's been a great 7 years and I can't wait to see what the next 7 will bring!"

Everyone cheered, and Rei smiled, face pale and hands shaking. He couldn't do this. He just couldn't do this.

Nagisa frowned, and looked at his boyfriend with a worried expression, "Rei? What's wrong? Are you okay? You look pale, Makoto do you have any Advil with you or anything Rei seems to be--"

Rei unintentionally cut him off with his laughter. Rei couldn't control the spread of pure happiness that started in the pit of his stomach as soon as Nagisa voiced his concern to Rei. How could Rei not be ready for this? Just one look at Nagisa and Rei knew there was no one else in this world that mattered to him. Not the threat of Nagisa's parents being assholes in the future, not the threat of hard and long hours his job might bring, and not even their uncertain future with Nagisa's schooling. Rei could just look into his boyfriend's eyes and want nothing more than to be held in his arms, and his heart skipped a beat every time he reminded himself that that's where he was going to be in just a few hours.

"Why are you laughing, Rei? What did I do?" Nagisa huffed, making Rei laugh even harder.

"Everything. Nagisa, you did everything." Rei wiped the tears from his eyes before they dripped down his face. Before he could think, before he could do anything but move quickly before doubting his actions, Rei took his partner by the hand and stood them both up and out of the bar stools.

"Rei, what's going on?"

Rei could feel the smiles and excited gasps from his friends, but he tuned them out just momentarily. His friends were important, but Nagisa was standing in front of him right now, looking up at him with his big, kind, beautiful eyes. Rei kissed his forehead.

Before Rei could gather his thoughts, before Rei could even take another breath, there was a sharp "ding!" from the front of the restaurant. Ah, perfect timing.

"I'm sorry, but we are closed tonight," Haru stood up, and Rei watched Haru freeze and take a step back in shock.

"Haru, who is..." Rei faltered to a stop, breath caught in the back of his throat. When did the Hazuki's know where Haru worked? How did they even know they were going to be here? Did Rei say something? He could barely remember. He could barely think straight. His hands froze in his partners.

"Rei, what's wrong?" Nagisa asked, and looked over in the direction everyone else was looking. He gasped louder than the rest of the group, and tore himself away from Rei and rushed over to his parents. Rei was too shocked to move or react.

"Dad...? Mom...?"

"Nagisa," His father regarded him cooly. Nagisa took a step back.

"What...what are you doing here? What's going on?"

"We arrived at your apartment. We bumped into... _Ryugazaki_. After _rudely_ acknowledging us, he told us where you were going and then disappeared. Luckily, we were able to come here just in time." His father glanced at his son's hands. Rei gulped. He was too frozen to move, still. To do anything.

"Just in time... for what? Wait how did you know where we lived?" Nagisa blinked, looking between his parents with wide, confused eyes.

"Do not go through with it, Nagisa," His mother stepped in, eyes pleading, "Please, if you do, you'll break my heart."

"Go through with what?" Nagisa repeated, "I don't understand what's going on..."

Mr. Hazuki sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, "Obviously, you wouldn't know yet. But... that _man_... informed us rather _rudely_ that--"

"Stop!" Rei yelled, finally finding the courage within himself to move from his frozen spot and rush to his partners side, "Stop, this isn't for you to intervene--"

"Like Hell it isn't!" Mr. Hazuki retorted, face becoming redder just at the sight of the taller man.

"No, it's not. I told you before and I'll tell you again. You do not deserve to come back into his life. You both are responsible for so much pain--"

"Will someone _please_ , for the love of _God_ , tell me what the Hell is going on?" Nagisa pulled away from Rei to better look at all three people at the same time, "If someone doesn't tell me what's going on in the next few seconds, I swear I'll--"

"Sweetie, that boy was going to," She sneered in the direction of Rei, and finished before Rei could interrupt, "ask you to... _marry_ him" She finished, as if she suggested something completely dirty and disgusting was going to happen. Well, that's just what she thought on the topic anyway.

Nagisa blinked. Rei gasped. The rest of the restaurant was quiet. Time stood still.

Nagisa looked at his mother blankly first, then turned to Rei and whispered, "What?"

Rei's face turned a terrible shade of red as he stuttered out, "Well... well I mean... yes that was... I can explain they weren't supposed to know... I've been planning this for a while... I didn't think... I didn't know they would be coming I just saw them t-today and I-I didn't want to tell you to-today because of the p-party and I didn't want you to worry and I...I..." Rei stuttered to a halt when Nagisa just continued to blink rather emotionlessly at him.

There was a period of silence for a moment or two. It was hard to decipher if it was awkward or not. Rei was on the verge of hyperventilating with anxiety, Nagisa's parents looked at each other and their son uneasily, and Nagisa seemed to have zoned out for a solid two minutes. 

"Nagisa, sweetie," His mother chirped up, looking at her son expectantly, "I know it's an ugly shock. But you can come with us it's all okay we will forgive you, I talked to your father."

Nagisa seemed to snap back into reality, and his head shot at his mother. He took a moment to compose his thoughts, before very slowly muttering, "Seven years."

"I-I'm sorry?" She asked, looking at her husband with wide eyes.

"I haven't seen you for seven years. You kicked me out. I lived with Rei. I got a job and supported him and we managed to get him through college and now he has a job. A really good job. And now it's my turn to get my college degree. We did it all on our own. We're... we're happy. I don't understand why you came back now. Why today?"

"W-we missed our son," She whispered, avoiding his eyes.

Nagisa squared his shoulders and glared at his mother, "After seven years, you come to decide to come back into my life, disrupt what we have made, and pretend like we can go on living as if nothing happened? As if you didn't kick me out? As if you both didn't call me names and disown me?"

"We... we never _disowned_ you, Nagisa--"

"Get out," Nagisa said in a firm, unfaltering voice.

"Now, son," His father started, but he seemed to lose the confidence in his voice from earlier. 

"Get out, now."

"Son, I hardly think--"

"This is my restaurant," Haru stepped up, he finally found the right time to intervene, "My employees and my customers want you to leave. If you do not leave within the next 30 seconds, I will call the police. Lucky for me, I have two in my restaurant at my disposal." As if to prove his point, Sousuke and Rin stood up, and made their presence known to the older Hazuki's.

Mr. Hazuki stepped back, arms raised defensively and said in a rough voice, "Now, boys, I hardly think that's necessary. We aren't causing any harm."

"Leave my restaurant," Haru said, taking a step forward, now in line with Rei and Nagisa, "Now."

Mrs. Hazuki looked up at her husband, who's face turned an even deeper shade of red at the threat from the shorter cook. Before anyone said another word, Nagisa's father glanced one more time at his son, huffed, and turned on his heel and walked out the door. His mother didn't give Nagisa another look, just followed her husband out the door. The bell made the same "ding!", and the restaurant fell into another silence. 

Nagisa was looking at the ground, lost in thought. Haru sighed and walked back over to his husband. The two cops sat down and looked at each other warrily. Rei stood, still frozen, still in fear. After a few moments his fear turned into anger.

Pure, unadulterated anger at Nagisa's incompetent, foolish, big-headed, scum bag parents. His hands that shook with anxiety, now shook with anger. His face was no longer pale, but colored with rage. How dare they ruin the proposal. How dare they constantly find new ways to hurt Nagisa. How dare they try to take Nagisa away from him. How dare they--

"Rei?" 

Rei blinked, and raised his head from the ground to meet Nagisa's eyes. Shit. Right. Crap.

"N-Nagisa, I-I'm so sorry I had no idea they would come I didn't even know they were going to be in the area they just came to the apartment and I-was so angry I told them what I was planning on doing--on asking just in spite I'm so sorry if I hadn't told them they might not have come and--" Rei was rambling, and was cut off abruptly by surprise when Rei saw his boyfriend smile up at him. Before he could question, Nagisa's smiled broadened and he said, 

"I'm sorry, Rei," Rei of course didn't know how that sentence was going to end, and promptly stumbled backwards in fear of what was coming next. Nagisa quickly filled the gap and gently grabbed Rei's shaking hands, "I'm sorry, Rei," he repeated, only furthering the anxiety that was building up in Rei's stomach, heart, throat, and entire body, "We seemed to have been _rudely_ interrupted. Please, continue."

Rei just blinked rather stupidly at Nagisa and said, "What?"

Nagisa giggled at first, then had to take one of his hands from Rei's to cover his laughing mouth. Before Rei could comprehend what was going on, the rest of his friends seemed to join in the laughter. He spun around, and sure enough the room, including Haru, were almost completely doubled over.

"Did-did I miss something?" Rei asked, looking between Nagisa and the rest of them.

Nagisa looked up at his boyfriend, tears in his eyes. Not tears from pain or sadness. Nagisa hadn't shed a single tear because of the encounter with his parents. No, these tears were caused by the amount of mirth and laughter in his eyes and that was currently taking over his body.

"I-I really don't get it..." Rei started, now very uneasy with the amount of laughter in the room. The recent events were solemn if anything.

"I know you don't," Nagisa smiled and wiped the tears from his eyes, "Rei, I love you,"

The laughter seemed to quiet down, and the attention was back on the two of them. Rei blinked and said, "I-I love you, N-Nagisa,"

"So please," Nagisa said with a faint smile, "please continue."

Rei looked into Nagisa's eyes, still unsure of what had exactly happened, and how his boyfriend was thinking. The only think Rei seemed to process was that Nagisa asked him to continue with what he was saying before they were interrupted. Rei was obviously not in the same mood as he was right before he was about to ask, but... but.

Nagisa reached up and ran a hand through Rei's hair and kissed him on the cheek, nose, and finally placed a delicate and chaste kiss on the taller man's lips.

"Don't make me answer you before you ask," Nagisa teased, causing the room to chuckle again.

Rei continued to hold his boyfriend's gaze, and a smile slowly crept on his face. He took the smaller man's hands, and placed a kiss on their small fingers before very carefully bending down to rest on one knee. He heard Nagisa's voice catch in his throat, causing Rei to immediately shoot his head up to meet Nagisa's eyes. Nagisa smiled at him, and carefully played with the ends of Rei's tidy hair. This small gesture did more than calm his nerves, it gave him courage to reach a shaky hand into his jacket and pull out a small red box.

Nagisa's breath caught in hi throat again, but Rei wasn't discouraged or worried. He tuned out the excited gasps and comments from his friends just as he did earlier and used all his energy to maintain eye contact with Nagisa and hold the small box in one hand, "Nagisa Hazuki," he started, already gaining more confidence just by saying his lover's full name aloud. Time for his semi-rehearsed speech, "I do not remember the exact moment I feel in love with you. I only remember the days when we were younger, when I would look into your eyes and see...and see the person who I never wanted to leave. I saw someone who I thought I could always be with, and who would always be there for me.

"We grew up, we faced difficult choices, and we had to make sacrifices. But I regret nothing because every decision we have made together has lead us to this exact moment, to me kneeling before you," Rei took a moment to gather his thoughts once more, and to let Nagisa wipe more tears from his eyes, "And still, to this day, I see the same person. The same person I want to be with forever. The same person who I saw all those years ago, who I knew I would always want by my side. And through all of the fights, through all of our problems, I know that you, Nagisa Hazuki," Rei took another deep breath, ".. _you_ are what really matters. No one else. Just you and the ones we love. We don't have time to waste on those who do not love us, and I will not stand for you to be around those who do not love you, because you deserve nothing less than happiness. So will you please... please do me the great honor... and marry me?"

And he did.

 


End file.
